Marriage, Kids and Art

It’s been a while, my... look at how time has been kind to you, you don’t look a day older then what you were yesterday! Though your appearance hasn’t changed your mind has for sure, I know mine has! In the best ways and sometimes not in the MOST best way, it’s a part of growth. A tree never hates it’s self for growing a limb or branch that doesn’t act right or never bares fruit, Nah never that! It just waits for lighting to strike the branch off or a person comes and prunes the branch, or animal, its simple! Sometimes the simplest answer require the most effort into completing them.

Being in a relationship with a person has its hurdles, and its bumps in the road, right?

I mean, think about it, your history will most likely determine or be a large factor in your ability to not just "see," past but to view all a persons similar differences. So to reiterate, relationships can be challenging, it’s the basis for two separate histories, ideals and persons to come together, despite difference, and say, "We can do this." A relationship with a creative or an artist is a different story…it’s not only challenging, it has its own unique level of differences and understanding that can require certain wants and needs.

I separate the artist from the Creative, even though both can be embodied by one, because you can be creative in moments at a time without being an artist, mostly during problem solving and or finding an answer. You can be creative in accomplishing a goal or task. While the artist, I believe, Is creative in what they can accoomplish, with a planned process, clear intention, and goal for a specific fulfillment. The artist is problem solving, they are finding solutions to problems they ARE NOT aware of by the skills they acquired made or discovered. The artist is most definitely creative, but the artist doesn’t care much about a problem or solution, they create for the sole purpose of being created first, they just create.

If you have any loved ones that are Artist or Creative or both, notice what is needed and if you can be, fit that need, or if you can’t be that fit, be a way to the fit.

Marriage, in its self, is a unique relationship that has had its core values changed over the years for different reasons. Marriage was a tool for the rich and wealthy to bring companies and families together for financial beneficiary purposes. The two bosses would marry off their children to one another to MERGE. Kings would marry off their children and heirs to create alliance across the lands during war and peace times. It was used to solidify a blood line not being withdrawn from earth, to build a legacy. It was used to to keep certain people out of the bloodline with arranged marriages, social purity.  The same with children, many thought that children amongst to two families would bring peace to those families, or be a peace offering. The child's years of life as they grow up or how many children would determine how many years of peace would be between the families, tribes, and nations. Now a days, although similar, things have changed I think for the better. Marriage with an Artist Creative with kids is not for the faint of heart nor the weak. As an Artist Creative my self, knowing who to have relationships with became priority at one point, because having the right and wrong people around you can alter your perspective and your success as an Artist or Creative. You need to have a spouse that not only enjoys you but also enjoys who you are and the fact you create.  They should know the path given to you is not an easy one, it’s narrow and lonely and at times and your only one “ Wrong name call,” at your local Starbucks away from a mental overload and explosion. I don’t drink coffee but I could only imagine, lol. Having an artist or creative as a parent is a whole other structure and relationship, some artist and creatives, in order to survive, or thrive in certain situations, create another persona to fit in the status quo of living. A “Whoever you need me to be in this temporary moment,” so that I can go be ME later. Dave Chapelle said it best, “I became the Lion so that I can come home and be the Lamb.”  It’s a very similar structure, An artist may think that they can’t be who they truly are due to how it can be perceived, so they, instinctively, blend in or become something to be a solution to the inner conflict of their identity. Saw this first hand with my Da, pronounced with a short a, /Du-Ah/ (father) I can picture you trying to say it, it make me chuckle a bit. But yea, my Da was an artist and creative, his job wasn’t that, he was a tactician…or was it a technician, any who, people would call him to fix problems…some where big tasks some where small, some he brought me with and some he couldn’t. He didn’t like doing the jobs he just knew that if he didn’t he wouldn’t get paid. But after so long of not being able to fully be the artist he was, it turned inward, private, secrecy even, until he would just talked about his ideas and eventually start to write them  down, but any time he would try to express him self, he wouldn’t find  favorable gestures of appreciation or affirmation…no he found somethings else, something less cooperative, less helpful more no’s than yes’s and more doubt then faith from family, friends and loved ones. So he stayed in that place until he died. It’s like owning a fancy car with bells and whistles and only using it for looks and not know how to actually drive or use the car, You get more out of something the more you invest understand and time into it, or the person.  Some artists aren’t that involved with feelings outside of them selves, and escape the opinions ad certain facts of perspective from outside perception, they can become numb to reality.

The bible talks about being “equally yoked,” when you would work a field or have a carriage that requires more power you would connect two animals of the same species together by a yoke made of wood and seldomly metal. (google it)  It was designed to help keep both animals, of the same species and similar size, in tandem working as one. If you yoked two animals that where not equal in strength and size, one could drag the other and the stronger of the two could get injured or even accidentally kill the weaker one.THE SAME THING HAPPENS in a relationship, well…actually not really, but metaphorically it does. You can either be a force moving as one , OR you could be no force at all and one becomes a dead weight being dragged along the aisles of target. Like that tree, never be in a place where you don’t fully accept who you are and what you are, and don’t let other either. This is what I try to teach my kids but I feel like it’s going in now ear and out the other, so in order to keep my feelings from being hurt, lol I become the lion until I get to my office so I can become the lamb. Kids are the branches of a marriage, either you will let lighting correct them or you can start creatively pruning them for a goal they may not yet see and for a purpose they do not yet understand. See being Parent is just like being an artist or creative, just make sure to fit the need or be a way to the fit.